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Monday 8 March 2010
Prescilla
Things are different for me too. I haven't been sleeping to well I wake up at 6am with a strange fear, that I can't quite place my finger on. I've given up on smoking it's only been two days, but I've been running every morning to exercise my demons. My hamsters getting fatter and I think she maybe pregnant. The fatter the anything the better, well....not prostitutes. I call her Prescilla. It's not her name, but it fits.
I am still dramatic as ever; on my runs I close my eyes and hope I'm hit by something big and heavy. It must be those guardian angels I keep finding, because I'm still alive.
Some times I think I'd like to keep running. But I can't.
I keep waiting for something to make me smile like he did and so far things just keep fucking up. Sometimes I think I don't deserve this, sometimes I think because I think that I do. There must be someone watching me. I can't predict everything, but everything seems somehow mapped out so that when I come across it, I'm not surprised. So surprise me.
I am still dramatic as ever; on my runs I close my eyes and hope I'm hit by something big and heavy. It must be those guardian angels I keep finding, because I'm still alive.
Some times I think I'd like to keep running. But I can't.
I keep waiting for something to make me smile like he did and so far things just keep fucking up. Sometimes I think I don't deserve this, sometimes I think because I think that I do. There must be someone watching me. I can't predict everything, but everything seems somehow mapped out so that when I come across it, I'm not surprised. So surprise me.
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